


Why is this happening?

by hilli98215



Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Cheating in a Relationship, Human AU, Language, Macavity is a terrible brother, Munk and Tugger bonding, Munkustrap is trying to hold everything together, Other, Panic Attacks, Putting characters through pain, Tugger is trying his best, Why do I do this, physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilli98215/pseuds/hilli98215
Summary: Tugger is curious when he overhears his older brothers talking and quickly decides to find out what they are talking about. But what he hears and sees is not what he expected. In fact, he probably should have stayed in his room.
Relationships: Macavity & Munkustrap & Rum Tum Tugger, Macavity & Munkustrap (Cats), Macavity & Rum Tum Tugger, Old Deuteronomy/Grizabella (Cats)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	Why is this happening?

**Author's Note:**

> This story came about when I was looking at another prompt list. The original prompt was "You're not my mom" but I changed it to "You're not mom!" to fit with what I was writing and it worked. This was one of those rare situations where I kept writing and writing my draft until it had an ending. So writing the final draft was a lot easier than it usually is. The hardest part was actually the title since I usually use the prompt. But I think it gives a good hint to what Tugger is thinking throughout the story.  
> I had this idea of Macavity and Munkustrap having a fight and Tugger watching in the shadows even though he isn't supposed to. Here, Tugger witnesses what his oldest brother really thinks about him, and Munk does something Tugger never thought he would do.   
> I know I already put this in the tags, but be aware of the following: Panic Attack, Mild Swearing, Cheating, and Physical Violence.   
> Ages of the characters: Tugger-15, Munkustrap-19, Macavity-21

It was useless. Even though they both knew it was going to fail, they did it anyway. They pushed and pushed until their relationship turned into ash and darkness.

Tugger knew enough to stay in the shadows, out of sight, but still close enough to hear his oldest brothers arguing. Their voices were difficult to turn off.

“Why were you out so late this time?!” Munkustrap’s voice was calm, the voice of reason.

“Oh like you’ve never been out before?!” Macavity snickered. His voice was sharp and filled with anger. Their oldest brother never liked being tied down.

“That’s not it! Dad’s been getting worried that you haven't been home for dinner. You leave for long periods of time and it’s like you don’t want to be here anymore!” Munk went on and on until Tugger noticed Macavity shaking with anger.

“Think of Tugger. Did you know he asks for you all the time? Did you-” Munk didn't get to finish his thought.

“Oh fuck you, Munk! You’re not mom!” Macavity's sudden volume startled both of them.

“You’ll never be mom,” he continued, “She left us. For what? For some career which will never take off. She never wanted us. She never wanted three mangy boys with no future.”

Macavity stepped closer. So close, Tugger could see only inches between the two.

“And you know what I overheard mom tell dad before Tugger was born? Dad’s not Tugger’s biological father. Apparently, mom was sleeping around and got pregnant. So we have a cheater for a mother and a bastard for a brother.”

‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’ Tugger thought, ‘Why?’

What Tugger didn’t see was Munkustrap shaking and his hands turning into fists.

Before he knew it, Tugger heard a ‘WAP!’ followed by a crash. He looked up to see Macavity on the floor holding his jaw and Munkustrap cradling his right hand with tears falling down his face. Tugger’s eyes widened. Munk hated resorting to violence. 

“Don’t you ever say that about Tugger again,” his words were sharp and pointed. The complete opposite of earlier.

Mavity slowly stood up and brushed the dirt from his clothes. “Fine. Fine. But I’m only saying the truth.” Tugger saw his older brother reach for his phone and keys. “If you need me I’ll be at Growltiger’s.” With that said, he walked out and slammed the front door. 

Munkustrap jumped at the loud bang. He fell to his knees and openly wept. Tugger didn’t know this but this had been coming for a long time. Macavity and Munkustrap’s brotherly relationship shattered when their mother left them. Nothing could ever repair it. Nothing could help them.

But Tugger hated seeing Munk cry. It was something he rarely saw. He slowly crept out of his hiding spot and sat criss-cross next to his older brother. 

“Munkus, are you alright?” He saw how Munk was still shaking, his eyes were closed tight, and his breathing came out in short bursts. 

His own eyes widened with concern. His brother was having a panic attack.

Instead of asking more questions, Tugger simply sat here in silence. He didn't want Munkustrap to be scared when opened his eyes. His own mind was still reeling from what Macavity said.

The two of them sat together on the floor for what seemed like hours but in reality, it was about twenty minutes. 

Munkustrap slowly opened his eyes and controlled his breathing. He then stopped shaking and stretched his tired legs. It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t alone on the floor. Tugger was right there sitting on the floor with him. 

“Tuggs, why are you here? What happened?” His voice was nothing but a small whisper. 

Tugger took a deep breath while choosing his words wisely, “You had a panic attack after Mac left.”

“Which means you heard everything.” He didn't like that.

“And saw everything.” 

“What?” Munk faced his younger brother. He never wanted Tugger to see him like this. He needed to be strong.

Tugger, on the other hand, knew how much stress Munk was under. “I heard you two talking and wanted to listen in. I didn't know he was going to mention mom.”

“I didn't either.” He was about to say more but Tugger beat him to it.

“I thought it was cool when you punched him. I know how much you hate violence.”

He chuckled, “Thanks.”

“Thanks for defending me and, and thanks for, for, for…” Tugger trailed off. He had all these thoughts and emotions and he didn’t know how to tell Munkus how grateful he was.

It was then he felt two strong hands cupping his face wiping off tears. When did he start crying?

“Hey,” Munk made sure his voice was soft, “it’s okay Tuggs. Everything will be okay.”

With those words, it was like a dam opened. Tugger fell forward with his face hidden in the crook of his brother’s neck and cried. Munkustrap wrapped his arm around his brother and let him let out his emotions.

They stayed in that position until Munk brought up a point. An important point that needed to be said at that very moment. 

“I don’t care what Macavity says.” His voice stayed soft, “Dad loves you so much. I love you. You’re my brother and no one will take that away.”

And at that very moment, Tugger’s stomach decided to let out a very loud growl. He released Tugger from the hug.

Munkustrap gave a hearty laugh, “I guess it’s time for dinner. What do you want?”

“Can we get pizza?” It was like the sound of food instantly changed his mood. “Can we get enough for dad too?”

The older brother kept smiling, “Of course we’ll get enough for dad.”

If there was one thing Tugger knew about Munkustrap, it was how much his older brother loves him  **and** will protect him no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I actually enjoyed writing this. So much so, that I almost began tearing up while writing a lot of the dialogue. I tried my best to make the panic attack Munkustap has as authentic as possible and did some research. I also researched how to help someone with a panic attack and, again, tried my best.   
> I just want to give these brothers a hug. Can I do that?


End file.
